Walt Disney World for Vampires, Zombies, and Others with Very Special Needs

by Dominick Cancilla | Release Date: May 5, 2017 | Availability: Print, Kindle

Your FastPass to Fear

Here's the problem. You're a vampire, zombie, gargoyle, shambler, sphinx, or other creature, and you're going to Disney World. But all the guidebooks are written for humans. What's a tentacled aberration to do? Salvation (well, not really) has arrived!

Just destroyed Tokyo? Hurled souls to Hell? Gobbled down some brains? You deserve a vacation. And where better than the Most Magical (not in a dark, necromantic way) Place on Earth. Sure, Disney World is for kids, and their families, and human beings in general, but the company does have super-secret guidelines for creatures of the night, denizens of shadow dimensions, mutants on leave from government research facilities, and related beasts, brutes, and bigfeet.

At enormous risk to his own sanity, Dominick Cancilla obtained a copy of Disney's rules for handling these very special guests. From alchemists to zombies, it's an A-Z forbidden compendium of the horrors that stalked your childhood nightmares, and now may be standing next to you in line for Dumbo the Flying Elephant.

With entries for over 160 types of creatures, as well as helpful trigger warnings and "heads-up" (sometimes with two or three heads) about potentially offensive stereotypes at the parks, plus touring advice and practical guidance about when you should and should not make use of any special powers or indulge in any horrific urges, this book has been endorsed by both intra- and inter-dimensional travelers, and consistently tops the New York Slime's bestseller list.

Even if you're not a monst... (oops! that's the "m word!"), you'll enjoy Cancilla's dark humor and sly wit. And you'll learn a lot about Walt Disney World as well, though most of it isn't true—or is it?

Table of Contents


General Information

Walt Disney World A-Z Creature Codex

Alchemists and Potion Concoctors

Angels and Fallen Angels

Animals, Clothed

Animal and Plant Communicators and Commanders

Animal Companions

Anthropomorphic Animals and Muppets

Astral Projectors and Remote Viewers



Blobs and Amorphous Individuals


Brains and Heads in Jars

Caterpillars, Talking

Cats, Cheshire



Coffin Users

Cold Commanders

Companions of the Undetectable

Compulsive Destroyers

Compulsive Storytellers


Cursed Individuals





Demon-Enhanced Individuals



Dream Invaders

Duplicates and Replacements


Elementals, Fire

Elementals and Element Commanders



Evil Clowns


Faceless Individuals

Fairies and Pixies

Fire Avoiders


Frogs That Were Formerly Princes


Ghost Riders

Ghosts and Spirits



Gifted Children

Glasses Wearers

Ground Dwellers

Haunted Individuals

Headless Individuals

Heat Avoiders

Heffalumps and Woozles

Holiday-Oriented Individuals

Herculean Individuals

Homicidal Living Puppets


Identity-Displaced Individuals


Immaterial Beings

Immortals and Ancients

Insects (Human-Sized)

Intelligent Animals

Intelligent Food

Intelligent Plants

Invisible Persons


Island of Dr. Moreau Residents

Jedi and Sith


Lethal Gazers

Lie Detectors

Lumberers, Shamblers, and Slow Walkers


Magic Items





Mirror Avoiders

Mistresses of All Evil

Motor Vehicles



Nac Mac Feegle

Nature Spirits

Nocturnals and Night Creatures

Nymphs and Satyrs

Obsessed Individuals


Parallel Universe Dwellers

Persons of Compact Size

Person with Natural Parentage

Photography Avoiders and Unphotographables

Pixelated Beings

Poltergeist Attractors

Precognitives and Sensitives




Radioactive Individuals

Reanimated Corpses




Robotic Law Enforcement Agents

Robots and Androids

Satyrs and Nymphs


Scent Adepts

Science Mishap Combos

Sentient Objects


Shape Changers and Shapeshifters

Shrinking Individuals



Skeletons and Other Bone Creatures

Skulls and Skull Heads



Spirit Contactors


Spoon Benders

Spring-Heeled Jacks

Sunlight Sensitives

Super Geniuses

Super-Powered Individuals

Super-Science Items




Television and Movie Characters


Thought Controllers

Time-Displaced Individuals

Time Repeaters

Time Repeaters

Time Repeaters

Time Travelers

Tin Men





Unfrozen Cavemen

Unnoticeables and Forgettables


Very Hungry Caterpillars

Water Avoiders

Water Dwellers

Water Sensitives

Water Walkers

Weather Commanders


Winged Individuals

Wish Granters


Wizards and Other Adepts of Supernatural Science

Wooden Children

X-ray Viewers



If you are interested in a Walt Disney World vacation, there are literally hundreds of books and web sites that can help you pick a hotel, plan an itinerary, and fine-tune every aspect of your magical experience. Most people assume that with all of those resources available, the needs of every possible type of Disney visitor type must be considered in at least one of them. If you’re reading this book, then you know that is not the case.

In 2013, a friend of the author was considering a summer vacation at Disney but couldn’t find the answers to some questions that weighed heavily on his mind. Would he be able to bring his coffin? Would he be safe in his room from deadly sunlight? Was there any consecrated ground he’d have to avoid? This guide is intended to provide the answers to questions from our friend and others with exceptionally special needs that are overlooked by travel guides that cater purely to a human audience.

There are so many quality resources already in existence that we see no need to duplicate their content, so this guide does not include information that is freely available elsewhere (descriptions of ticket options, restaurant reviews, touring plans, hotel overviews, etc.). It also does not contain information on non-Disney properties, and has only limited information on seasonal and frequently changing performances. Finally, with few exceptions, this guide contains no advice or information regarding activities (such as feeding on humans) that are considered illegal, regardless of the arguable moral justification.

So, who specifically is this book for?

Walt Disney World for Vampires was written for creatures, supernaturals, and non-standard humans that want to spend time at Disney World. Although we tried to be as inclusive as possible, there are three large groups that we do not address:

  • Non-sentient creatures, including chimeras, tornado sharks, wills o’ the wisp, sandworms, killer tomatoes, etc. Because these creatures are unable to make decisions based on the contents of a book, we didn’t bother writing anything for them.
  • Individuals of extreme size, including sea monsters, Kaiju, Old Ones, things seen as shapes in the clouds, and many giants. The only way for massive persons to visit a resort without potentially destroying it is through the use of shrinking spells or technology; and if the person is shrunk, they aren’t of extreme size anymore.
  • Those with unusual occupations, including pirates, mad scientists, monster hunters, ghostbusters, bagpipe players, etc. Even though one’s occupation might carry with it certain interests, proclivities, and philosophical implications, at heart a human ninja is still a human and a vampire lawyer is still a vampire. We did include human time travelers, wizards, alchemists, and a few others because their needs are particularly unusual and their activities set them strongly apart from others of their species.

With a general word of thanks for the previous edition of this book, Barnabas Collins, from Collinsport, Maine, writes:

I thank you for recognizing that a vampire’s life is more than just drinking blood, seeing to the destruction of our enemies, and constantly attempting to hold at bay the hatred and fury swirling within. If it is my curse that everyone I love will die, doesn’t that assume my ability to love? And if I love, why wouldn’t I want to vacation with one I love?

Those who hate the living dead seek to destroy us, condemn us to wander forever in endless agony, or confine us to creepy old crypts all over the world, but we will find pleasure despite them, and I trust the joy of a Disney vacation will last longer than will the lives of my enemies.

After reading the general information at the front of this book, you can turn to those sections that apply to you personally. Keep in mind that there may be multiple sections that apply to you. For example, terminators will want to add both the “Robots and Androids” and “Time Travelers” sections to their database.

Notes on Vocabulary

Although we attempt to use the politically correct terms “creatures” (for reanimated and non-humans), “supernaturals” (for beings with abilities that defy the supposed laws of nature), “humans” (for non-supernatural, standard human beings), and “specials” (for all sentient non-humans as a group), we aren’t particularly rigorous about it. These terms fall in and out of favor and we are terrible at keeping up with the latest sociopolitical trends. Sorry about that.

Now that we’ve annoyed the political activists, we might as well make a clean sweep of it by irritating the diehard Disney fans as well: To avoid what can easily become an overwhelming amount of repetition, we aren’t going to be pedantic about Disney-specific terms.

For example:

  • We generally will call the Walt Disney World Resort just Disney World to keep things short.
  • We refer to both FASTPASS and FASTPASS+ as FastPass. All caps are for YELLING!
  • The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Undersea Adventure, Toy Story Mania, and Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin are generally just Little Mermaid, Toy Story, and Buzz Lightyear to us. We assume everyone knows what we’re talking about.
  • We may use other shortened names when the intent is clear, such as Big Thunder instead of Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and Star Tours instead of Star Tours—The Adventures Continue. To us, the Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover is just the PeopleMover because, seriously, life is too short.
  • The same is true for the parks: Disney’s Animal Kingdom is Animal Kingdom, Disney’s Hollywood Studios is Hollywood Studios.
  • We go ahead and use the Disney-standard capitalization and punctuation for “it’s a small world” because we think it’s cute.

Finally, a word about a word: “etcetera.” We want to avoid having to type it everywhere and need you to help us have a meaningful guide without it. Very frequently we list examples to help clarify something. As these example lists are not to be considered exhaustive, we ask that you imagine that the word “etcetera” appears at the end of each example list. For example, if we said, “This attraction is not appropriate for creatures hungry for human flesh (ghouls, flesh-eating zombies, carnivorous plants),” we don’t mean to imply that there are not others who would enjoy a little human-based sustenance, and we aren’t intending to subtly insult brain suckers, psychic vampires, bore worms, and the like by not including them in the list.

Where Is that Ride?

Between the theme parks, hotels, water parks, golf courses, and Disney Springs, there are quite a few attractions, shops, and restaurants in the Disney World. In this guide, we will be mentioning quite a few of them, but we will not be giving locations along with mentions (by, for example, always saying “The Haunted Mansion in the Magic Kingdom”). This would get tedious very quickly, and we assume that most readers will either know where in Disney World these places are from their reading of other tour guides or can easily find that information online.

About “The M-Word”

There was significant concern in the community when Pixar’s Monsters, Inc. was announced that Disney was making high-profile use of a term which is upsetting to many creatures. Fortunately, Disney has restricted the use of the M-word to references to characters from that movie, all of which are of such a fantastic (in the best sense of the word) nature that few in the community find them more than perhaps a little annoying.

Note that this rather rarefied attitude is particular to Disney and cannot be taken for granted throughout the theme park industry. If you are a jigsaw of human remains sewn together by hand and reanimated by raw energy and forbidden science, Universal Studios might call you a m------, but at Disney World you will always be a guest.

In our experience, Monsters, Inc. is about as offensive to creatures as Mickey Mouse is to humans, so we will refer to them as Disney does when discussing Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor, monsters, and various parades and other entertainments that include the film’s characters.

The Mistress of the Dark from Hollywood, California, writes:

I’m as familiar as anyone with the problem of “monster” stereotypes. If you really want to turn the creature ignorance up to eleven, visit Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater Restaurant. The place has an endless loop of film playing constantly on its faux drive-in-theater screen that runs the gamut of offensive stereotypes. If you want to know anything about real monsters, this place is a bust (and I would know!).

Dominick Cancilla

Dominick Cancilla spent many years as a horror writer (with publication credits including dozens of short stories and one novel, Revenant Savior) before deciding that he should make better use of his near-fanatical obsession with everything about the Disney theme parks.

Since that time, he has created two Disney web sites (HiddenLincolns.org and DisneyLies.com) and self-published several Disneyland-related books, including Liar’s Guide to Disneyland, the That’s Not At Disneyland! series, and 396 Pure, Unadulterated, Dyed-In-The-Wool, 100% Made-Up, Completely Fake Disneyland “Facts.”

Stepping into the boundless realm of the supernatural, Cancilla has combined his love of the horrific with his Disney fanaticism and written two travel guides for Disney’s most unusual guests.

Although Disney World doesn't require that guests have heads, it's generally expected that you'll have more above your shoulders than empty space. If you don't, you shouldn't lose your head over it (or lose it again): you can still have a magical time.

You’re going to need a head, and a jack-o-lantern isn’t going to cut it. Animatronics, polymorphs, and illusions are all good options.

With a creative idea in the head department, a Hessian horseman from Sleepy Hollow writes:

If you are attending a Halloween event, consider teaming up with a head in a jar. The first time I did this with my friend Gideon, I let him ride with his jar in a special collar between my shoulders. We got more into it the next two years, once by dressing us up like a diver with a water-filled helmet, and once with a really neat Hatbox Ghost costume that drew appreciative murmurs..

I heard about a headless woman who dressed up like Madame Leota’s body for Halloween, but apparently most people didn’t get the reference and it’s really hard to explain your costume when you don’t have a mouth.

Things to Try

  • Buy a Mickey Mouse balloon and have your picture taken with it in place of your absent noggin.

Items of Interest

  • Disney’s Headless Horseman character makes an appearance at the Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party after-hours event in the Magic Kingdom.

Trigger Warnings

If you are touchy on the subject of beheadings, you might want to avoid the Haunted Mansion. The mansion has multiple references to decapitation, including an attic filled with pictures of people who suffered death at the hands of their axe-wielding bride and—in the final graveyard scene—a decapitated ghost holding his own singing head and standing with the axe man who presumably gave him the opportunity to do so.

Continued in "Walt Disney World for Vampires, Zombies, and Others with Very Special Needs"!

Witches are part of the Disney character pantheon, but generally they're of the nasty, ugly, turn-you-into-something sort, and so your presence in Disney World may cause guests discomfort, revulsion, and dislodge scary memories from their childhoods. As long as you leave the broom, the apple, and the warts at home, you can still have a reasonably good time in the parks.

Not including Wiccans or space children with witch-like abilities.

The first and most important rule when on vacation is this: no cursing. With a lesson learned, a nameless enchantress from France writes:

A little rainstorm broke out while I was walking down Main Street on my vacation. Not wanting to get wet, I offered a young man a lovely rose if he’d let me share a doorway with him. He rather curtly refused, so I turned him into a beast and transformed everyone he was traveling with into sentient park souvenirs.

Soon park security intervened. Apparently, there is no longer any appreciation for the classics and I was forced to turn him back without even waiting to see if he could learn to love. How disappointing.

Tied for first place in the “don’t do this” category is eating children. Rosina Leckermaul from Germany writes:

I got caught looking at rows upon rows of empty strollers like a starving woman gazing longingly at a field of empty popcorn buckets. It was humiliating.

A few more minor cautions:

  • Avoid restaurants and snack-vending carts if you spoil food or curdle milk by your presence.
  • If traveling by broom, no skywriting ominous commands (or other messages) over the resort.
  • No making self-serving deals (“Would you trade your voice for a better place in line?”) with the pathetically innocent.
  • Don’t even joke about poisoning, imprisoning, or sending a huntsman to cut out the heart of a princess. (Disney takes princesses really seriously.)
  • While we’re at it, no turning princes into frogs, llamas, etc.

One advantage you have over others at a resort is that, as a witch, you float. Use this talent to great effect in pools and water parks.

If wearing a pointy hat is your style, you will find that its wide brim does a great job of protecting you from the sun, but beware that it may frequently run afoul of doorways, trees, and permanent umbrellas, and will have to be removed on most attractions and for most shows.

Endora writes:

I have a tip for any witch who is married to a mortal that does not approve of her using her powers. Go ahead and cast protections against blisters, sunburn, and anything else you like on yourself and your children. Your husband doesn’t have to know and who needs that kind of discomfort? Besides, it serves him right.

See also “Wizards and Adepts of Supernatural Science,” “Familiars,” “Alchemists and Potion Concoctors,” and “Water Sensitives” (as appropriate).

Items of Interest

  • Mary Poppins is the only realistic Disney witch. She can be seen in Epcot’s UK pavilion, appears in a scene of the Great Movie Ride, and has a character breakfast at the Grand Floridian.
  • For those who live in gingerbread or candy houses, seasonal gingerbread-house displays may prove nostalgic.

Trigger Warnings

  • Some shows and parades release bubbles as an effect. These may, at first glance, appear to be a swarm of traveling good witches, but they’re just plain old soap.
  • If you have difficulty controlling your child-eating compulsions, avoid “it’s a small world”.

Possible Offensive Stereotypes

  • The Great Movie Ride has a high-quality animatronic witch in the Wizard of Oz scene.
  • A stereotypical witch appears in the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train attraction (but at least she gets the last word).
  • An animatronic Ursula (a sea witch) appears in Little Mermaid.
  • “Poison apples” are available in some candy shops.
  • Halloween fireworks shows often depict witches with ridiculous goals failing spectacularly to meet them.

Continued in "Walt Disney World for Vampires, Zombies, and Others with Very Special Needs"!

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